On honors blah blah blah

I admit it. I never heard of Dr. Richard Feynman. I should have. He was a world renowned physicist who won the Nobel Prize in 1965 and a slew of other scientific awards. And in science circles he is considered one of the most important thinkers of our era next to Einstein. His Wikipedia entry gives a pretty good overview of his life and accomplishments, and a  TED talk by one of his close friends, Leonard Susskind, another physicist, gives a great view into Feynman the man.
I stumbled upon Feynman looking at three of his videos, one on Beauty, one on Honors and one on Curiosity. They are short videos and well worth the time to look at. Without being a spoiler, Feynman has a distain for all honors- including the Nobel Prize.

I have thought long and hard about honors, awards and shows. I have a leg in each camp- those that enter shows all of the time and enjoy the recognition they bring, and the other camp that is not exactly disdainful of shows, but carefully decide where they want their work to be.
I have only entered two shows and got in one and did not get into the second one. I felt giddy getting into QN 2011 and am currently working on the pieces I might consider for QN2013. My confidence was high, but getting home, I found that getting into a show made it hard for me to get back to serious work... I lost 4 months. To make it worse, I started to think in terms of "What would have a chance getting into the next show?" which stopped my development completely.
Then I entered my second show- which I should not have. I entered old work that pre-dated QN 2011 simply because I had good photos of it. And, I did not want to enter something that I might enter in the next Quilt National. I entered older work, that was not anywhere near the quality I am producing now. And when I found out I did not get in, I felt the other part of shows- rejection and in my case stupidity. Stupidity because I entered work just to get in a show knowing it was not my best.
I learned a good lesson, but it did not answer all of the questions about shows. I am still trying to figure out if I really do not want to enter- it takes me away from doing what I want blah blah blah. Or maybe I am afraid of rejection blah blah blah. I want to be like Richard Feynman and really not care. I think I have a long way to go to get to that state.