Tomorrow is the day when I start a new composition. I have 3 whole days to myself while Dave is in the middle east- and no excuses. I took 2 of my quilt tops that have to be stitched to the farmhouse, and tonight I finish hemming the large piece I started at Nancy's. I am primed and ready to begin again.
And like always I am nervous-
Where will I go? What will I create? Do I have a vision? Am I defaulting to tried and true? What if nothing comes? What if I fail?
I imagine quilts before I start. They rarely turn out the way they appear in my mind's eye. And this time, I have some partial images in my head. I want to play around with some of the deep indigo hand loomed pieces I have. I want to use some of the black laquered Miao fabric I purchased.
I want to express the duality of someone who is bi-polar. I want to show the depths of depression and the highs of happiness. I want tension, and anxiety, and strong composition.
I flip through pinterest for inspiration, wary of the differences between influence, derivation, and rip-off. I want to be Kline, and Ad Reinhardt, Pierre Soulages and Rothko, and Serra. And I want to be me.
Last night I hung up fabrics on the board just to test. I have to confess that I really liked the composition even though it was unconscious. But it somehow had some of the power that I try so hard to capture.
Tomorrow I will dive in, and see what happens.