So how do I combat the feeling that I am either going down a wrong path, my work is not longer relevant, I am "out of fashion", the work shits, my talent is gone, and any one of ten other destructive thoughts that occupy my head right now.
Yes, I admit that it was hard for me to look at photos of the QAQ exhibit- where my Totems were rejected, and not feel envious. The work that I saw was gorgeous and well deserved entry into that show. And each time I saw a familiar face I shrunk a bit. And I expect that I will have some of the same issues when I look at AQE entries. Jealousy is really a green eyed monster.
I think I am feeling insecure because I am working in uncharted territory. I am balancing between three different series, and using techniques that I am not 100% sure of. I think I am growing, and I am having fun, but I am feeling rejection a bit more acutely right now. I need validation.
I am trying very hard not to slide back to techniques that I know are "crowd pleasers" and still continue to grow. But what if I am merely deluding myself? What if the work really is NOT good? Then what do I do?
Well one thing is to leave this computer, march upstairs and continue working on the piece that sits on my table. I decided (somewhat insanely) that it needs to be hand quilted, and I know this will take me months to complete. But I believe the softness of hand quilting is called for instead of the hard feel of machine quilting.
I do all my own quilting- machine or otherwise- and I do wonder if this time consuming process is preventing me from designing and producing more pieces. I know that I can not produce more than half a dozen pieces a year if they are large pieces, and I think often of letting this part go- but something keeps pulling me back. Not sure why production seems to important to me....